Ferris Wheel
by WSFic
Summary: A short mission to Hueco Mundo with Hitsugaya in charge. Slight drift into AU. Shuuhei's battling with trust issues, Yumichika shows off his zanpakutou, and Fujikujaku messes up with Shuuhei's head. ShuuxYumi. Character death by tentacle... not quite sex.


1.

"... so you are stuck in a glass capsule for a half an hour, and as the wheel creeps along you are unable to escape from the spectacular view of... the city. Does this idea make your blood dance, Hisagi-fukutaichou?"

"It's highly overrated," said Captain Hitsugaya. "Suffocating," he added, throwing an angry glance at Matsumoto, who walked a step behind him and whose innocent look might compete with Yumichika's.

No one asked Hitsugaya.

"That's because you, Hitsugaya-taichou, unlike Shuu-chan, are not exposed to spectacular views too often," Yumichika said, ignoring murderous vibes from Matsumoto. "I think, all you need is two more inches."

That's another ten years, translated Shuuhei, and, of course yes, no one asked Hitsugaya.

"I have no intention of going ground for a ride on some stupid wheel," he snapped and immediately regretted his words. Sure, Yumi had just called him Shuu-chan, so what? He walked looking at Yumichika's back in front of him fighting the urge to grab Yumichika's shoulders and start whispering apologies in his hair.

Right.

"You're truly a moron," said Ikkaku later, when Yumichika stepped out of the hearing range. "He was staring at the damn wheel for hours, yet never went. Moron."

Shuuhei couldn't agree more, that's what he was, a moron. Eventually Yumi would figure it out and leave him with no regrets. After all, in his first set of nightmares Yumi would always leave, and in the other set he was always killed. It mattered nothing that Shuuhei knew at least five ways to overcome Tousen's bankai, he was never fast enough, never strong enough, and never good enough, yet the first set was worse.

Trust issues, that's what they told him.

Dwelling on these thoughts was his first mistake. Three mistakes and four hours later, Shuuhei lost his party, lost a fair amount of his own blood, and couldn't keep the count of the enemies slain. All he needed now is to find a quiet place where he could lay low for a few hours, and then Yumi would find him, following the trail of blood and corpses. So much for the consistency of the trust issues.

"Hisagi-fukutaichou? It's been a while," said a voice Shuuhei heard in his recurring nightmares. "I hear, you've been doing fabulous."

Fabulous. And just as much as he hoped a minute ago for Yumichika to find him, now he wished Yumi wouldn't care. He was not the only one sick of the thought. "Stop cheapening your relationship," his zanpakutou scolded him. "Is that how you really feel?"

It wasn't. And lying about it would level him down to Tousen. Perhaps someday Yumi would forgive him for dying here, but Yumi would never forgive him for going down in an ugly way. And having his resolve made, Shuuhei gripped the tilt of his zanpakutou tighter and started to walk around Tousen towards a better position.

"Indeed, I have. My life had shown me its sunny side just before you left for Hueco Mundo. I think I disobeyed your direct orders then. You see, everybody was fighting, and I was not. Can't say I'm sorry, though..."

2.

Yumichika placed his blade precisely on the way of Tousen's finishing blow.

"Not so fast! You attempts to interrupt my dating plans for tonight are not something I would forgive easily…"

Tousen didn't honor him with a reply...

When Ikkaku and the rest of the party arrived to the scene, Tousen was two meters above the ground tightly held by Fujikujaku's vines that looked suspiciously like octopus arms complete with suction cups. Some vines were catching and absorbing the kidou balls of energy that Tousen was firing, and a few others were locked on the lifeless body of Shuuhei who was lying on the ground a few steps behind Yumichika.

"And here is another spot not to be missed." One of the feathers separated from the rest and went on its own journey, targeting the base of Tousen's neck. "Tell me, which way is more to your liking?"

Tousen grunted. Judging by the way he was shaking and wriggling no one had any doubts he was in no position to tell the difference.

"But you see, oh, forgive my slippage," continued Yumichika, "That spot tickles Hisagi-kun in a wrong way. It's not like that would ever be beneficial for you to know, though…"

Tousen jerked as if electrocuted.

"Holy shit," said Ikkaku, unable to take his eyes away from the humiliating scene in front of him. Yumichika threw a quick sidelong glance towards the new spectators and octopus arms swiftly morphed back to feathers.

"Holy shit," repeated Captain Hitsugaya after Ikkaku in total disbelief.

"Well, let's go on, the thirty-seventh reason for my dislike of you is Shuu-chan's nightmares. You see... oh, sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting you're visually challenged. Too bad, you're really missing out on the view."

Tousen was frantically trying to shake Fujikujaku off with kidou counterattacks, and Yumichika withdrew the vines for a second, just to give Tousen a chance to slam into the ground with his head. Then he promptly picked the treacherous captain up, and a few more vines extended and found their way around Yumichika, reaching out for Shuuhei.

"I see," said Ikkaku, settling on the ground. "Now I know why I've been so damn lucky."

Hitsugaya apparently didn't, "What the hell?"

"Anyway, I was telling you what's wrong with Shuu-chan's nightmares," continued Yumichika, "Shuu-chan kicks! And I hate being kicked in the middle of a nice dream." And Yumichika dropped Tousen again, this time giving him three seconds to recover. Tousen, however, couldn't even stand up.

"Well, it looks like we're getting excited enough to climax. It's about time!"

"Pervert," hissed Tousen, spitting blood, the hatred in his voice evident to everyone present. "Perverts..."

"My pleasure." Yumichika said. "By the way, I lied to you. Hisagi-fukutaichou doesn't have any nightmares." Then Fujikujaku's feathers tightened around his prey again sucking out the last drops of Tousen's life. "Have a nice reincarnation."

Two more minutes and everything was over. Captain Hitsugaya found his voice first. "We had to... we had to interrogate Tousen-taichou, I mean ex-taichou, and you finished him off out of... out of personal revenge!"

Yumichika looked over his shoulder. "I beg your pardon, Hitsugaya-taichou, what revenge?"

3.

It was so dark and loud that for a while Shuuhei thought he was in hell. That's what the hell thunderstorms must be like, lightning zigzagging across the sky every other second, roaring thunder, and no rain. On a second thought, it couldn't be hell because the grass underneath him was too silky to be the grass from hell and a few steps away he saw a huge peacock's tail fully unfolded into a huge magnificent fan.

Definitely not hell.

"Fujikujaku? Where am I?" he asked between rolls of thunder.

The peacock kept standing still and Shuuhei could feel the tension in the small bird's body. The sensation was familiar, but usually he had to confront that tension, while now it was shielding him.

"Where do you think you are, dumbass? You are dead and this is where you are going to live for the rest of his afterlife."

"What?"

Another strike of lightning hit the ground right next to them and the thunder that followed immediately after left him almost deaf.

"It's a nice garden," continued Fujikujaku. "Unfortunately, for the obvious reasons you cannot see it in its full glory. Yet."

He could see enough, the sky started to clear up and he could distinguish trees from bushes, and flowers from grass. The grass was bleeding.

"Impossible!"

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. I'll introduce you to other zanpakutou…"

This was a nightmare, right? And if it were real, what would he do here? It would take Fujikujaku two hours to drive him to the verge of insanity. Dammit, was he an idiot through the very end? He was dying and this was his last dream. Not a bad one though, for the flowers around him smelled of Yumi and somehow it made his fate acceptable. Any fate would go, he thought, as he watched the weather change. The lightning strikes stopped and when the sun finally found its way through the dark clouds and the beauty of this forest took his breath away. All the blood was gone from the grass and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he might enjoy living here.

Fujikujaku's content voice brought him out of his apathy. "What a control! But we still managed to piss him. I won't underestimate the fact that his overall perception was compensating for the blindness, but nothing upsets people faster, than some old fashioned jealousy."

"What?"

"Have you by any chance told him the story of your life? Now, that would piss off just about anyone."

He forgot about Tousen. It seemed like eternity had passed since their fight, but Fujikujaku was dead on the money again, he'd been talking way too much.

"I'm not dead?"

Fujikujaku swept his tail from side to side. "With all the reiatsu I pumped into you, dumbass, you can wake up any time. Wait for a kiss, if you want to, but don't expect it too soon."

"Wait a second!"

"What?"

"You mean you don't really have to draw reiatsu?"

"Of course, I don't."

Shameless pranksters. They had him again. He'd spent months and months trying his best to defeat Yumi's shikai, and occasionally he was lucky enough to beat it, yet every time the damned leech fed on him claiming that nothing, absolutely nothing could be done about it.

Fujikujaku pecked him in the shoulder.

He could tell that his head rested on Yumichika's lap, but the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Hitsugaya's puzzled face over his. That must be the reason for no kiss.

Hitsugaya winced away. "But he was practically gone," he said, looking at Yumichika in awe. "I never knew such things were even possible!"

No one paid Hitsugaya any attention. Matsumoto sat with a hand pressed to the base of her neck, staring into the sand, lost in thoughts. Ikkaku was sleeping, because one should never waste time. And Yumichika was too busy squeezing multiple meanings in a single half smile.

"I think, _leech_ is a bit too harsh a word… under the circumstances," said Yumichika.

"You were prying into my thoughts!"

"You were thinking loud enough for me to hear."

"Oh… sorry." Great. He really was a moron, just like Ikkaku had said earlier. Yumi had just saved his worthless life, and these were his thanks. Shuuhei searched for the eye contact and made a promise, "I'll go with you."

"Huh? Where?"

"The Ferris wheel."

"You know, after you looked forward to camping in my head until the day I die, I really have trouble imagining what you might say _no_ to."

"You _were_ prying into my thoughts!"

"Eeh… well, maybe just a little."


End file.
